Here’s a secret anyone who has been around birthing mothers a
lot doesn’t like to talk about: Pregnant Mothers need to take responsibility
for their births.
It’s true. The only way birth is going to be taken seriously
– like it’s a responsibility that includes both the baby and the mother’s
physical/mental/emotional/and spiritual health - is when pregnant mothers and
their partners take it seriously.
But lately, as I am traveling around Guatemala this week
with my family, the word RESPONSIBILITY keeps appearing in front of my eyes
like a billboard in Times Square.
The first thing I noticed when we got to our hotel was that there were very few instructions telling us what to do or not to do.
Can we go here? My
boys asked, pointing to the outdoor hot tub.
Where’s the lifeguard?
My youngest son wondered. Can we swim
without a lifeguard?
The answer was that anything goes. There was no rulebook. We
were being TRUSTED to go with our GUT and TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for our
surroundings.
OMG, did I just say that?
TRUST
GUT
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY
You mean I have a say in what I do? I can make
the rules based on nothing more than what my mind and body are telling me to
do?
Is that SAFE? My
oldest suggested.
This is when it dawned on me how little our culture gives us
opportunities to take responsibility.
No wonder we’re so afraid.
Society has taught us to follow endless rules.
Consider pool etiquette.
DON’T GO SWIMMING WITHOUT A LIFEGUARD
GET OUT OF THE POOL EVERY 40 MINUTES TO REST
DON’T EAT BY THE POOL
(DON’T EAT ANYWHERE THAT YOU WANT TO EAT :)
DON’T RUN
DON’T PLAY WITH BALLS IN THE POOL
DON’T PLAY IN THE POOL
DON’T EVEN THINK OF LAUGHING IN THE POOL AND JUMPING ON YOUR
PARENT’S BACK
Are we safer? Maybe.
But I am positive that as a consequence we have lost TRUST.
In OURSELVES.
In that GUT instinct that rises up to say
YES
Or
NO.
This week my kids, my husband, and me have had more
opportunities to check in with our gut than in almost every endeavor we do in
our home environment.
I feel awake.
And it’s got me thinking.
How can we be asked to take responsibility for anything when
we have been trained to not trust our INSTINCT?
If you don’t see the connection to giving birth then I
suggest you check your pulse.
Or better yet, don’t check your pulse. Just do this:
BREATHE
RELAX
RELAX
WATCH
ALLOW
This is advice I received years ago at a soul-searching
retreat in a former ashram after my father had died when I was twenty-two. I would have never been in that
environment had it not been for the loss of my father, which sent me into a loss of faith.
Thanks, Dad.
Since then I never forgot those four words.
It got me through my two births.
And at least once per month it gets me through a tough, indecisive day when I hear the "I can't do this" mantra building in my ear.
BREATHE
RELAX
WATCH
ALLOW
It got me through my two births.
And at least once per month it gets me through a tough, indecisive day when I hear the "I can't do this" mantra building in my ear.
BREATHE
RELAX
WATCH
ALLOW
Try it.
When the rules feel like too much, when you think you can't do something, use these words to check in with your gut.
When the rules feel like too much, when you think you can't do something, use these words to check in with your gut.
Imagine if there were no rules to giving birth and pregnant
women were trained to trust their gut like this? To ask, what kind of birth do I want?
Me thinks taking responsibility would be a no brainer.
