Ode To The Birth Partner

It was Friday night. The Spanish version of NACER had just rocked me to the core. I thought I could not go any deeper.

But wait.

The Talk back after the show starts.

Women speak.

And then come The Birth Partners.

Men.

Who speak in Spanish.

Simultaneous translation in my ear thanks to Flavia from the Perinatal Institute of Uruguay.

The men are confused.

"What's my role?" asks one Papa whose wife stands majestically next to him, 33 weeks pregnant with baby number one.

"What happens if I'm not necessary?"

"How do I help her to reach that MY BODY ROCKS moment?"

"What if she doesn't want me there?"

My eyes swell up with tears.

I wrote birth so pregnant women's voices would matter.

Would be heard.

Center stage.

But in this moment I got it.

The voice of The Birth Partner.

Urgency.
Panic.
Fear.
Excitement.
Pleasure.
Terror.

In need of a hand.
Hug.
Some Ina May belly rocking.

I am ashamed to respond.

Where is his voice in my play?

Nowhere.

Amanda's nervous nameless husband.
Sandy's Ralph calling his mother.
Jillian's Ramone eating a ham and cheese sandwich.

The next man speaks and he knows
about birth.

I have three kids.
First birth I didn't have a clue.
Second birth I was useless.
They pushed me to the side.
Sure, I was happy the baby was healthy.
Third birth
At home
I was there for my wife
and
It felt good
and
Right
and
Normal.

Hang in there, man.
It will be okay.
Be ready for anything.
Know she loves you
even if she ignores you
and the care providers ignore
you too.


So now I know.

Birth partners have voices too.

Often silenced.

Which leaves me wondering 

about a play I wrote

and whether

there is something more to write.


Social movements are never fair.

Have we forgot about
The Birth Partner
who cares
about birth
and
wants
to
be
engaged
in
the
movement
to
free
pregnant
women's
souls?

Go See NACER in Austin!

Last Friday night in New York City five minutes into watching NACER, the Spanish-speaking production of BIRTH touring the USA this month from Uruguay, I leaned over to my mother and whispered, "I think I like the play better in Spanish than English!"

NACER is that good.

Don't speak Spanish? I don't either.

Neither does my mother.

It doesn't matter.

NACER is poetry in motion, every inch of movement an intentional passionate statement about childbirth today.

In fact, it might be better that you cannot understand the words.

This production forces you to open your senses.

Listen to the melodic birth songs.

Feel the screech of background instruments as Sandy tells her dramatic fall into birth hell...and eventual rise with her second baby to birth heaven. (a nod to ya, Stephanie Dawn :)

Watch actors configured into machines supporting and preventing women to give birth.

 NACER at the Museum of Motherhood, New York City

Let your heart beat with the rhythm that producer and director Cecilia Jeske from the Perinatal Institute of Uruguay has created with her all-Uruguayan cast.

If you've seen the play, beware: if you're like me, your body's gonna shake with a radiant inner smile.

If you haven't seen the play, notice the sensations filling your body. I guarantee this play will set off every freaking messenger in your body.


The last few dates are in Austin, Texas.

If ya live there, lucky you.

It's at the Barrientos Mexican American Cultural Center May 30 and 31st, 6pm.


Go see it.

Really, pick up the phone now.


512-974-3772

Did you do it yet?

Your My-Body-Rocks experience is waiting.


(check out the video below of them performing that I shot on my dinky camera at the Museum of Motherhood in NYC :)

Special BOLD Offer! Human Rights Conference is Sexy and I Know It

My birth vision-ista self got all tingly when I heard there will be a human rights and childbirth conference on May 31 and June 1 in The Netherlands.

Woot! Woot!

This conference is going to be SEXY and I know it.

(hat tip to LMFAO :)

And even SEXIER...you can watch it on the web from anywhere in the world.

And even SEXIER...BOLD has a discount for all you birth vision-istas!

Here's the scoop:

Regular Price: €175 inclusive the pre-conference publication.


But the BOLD price is...drum roll pleeeese...


Special Price for the BOLD community:  $75 pre-conference publication not included.

How to get this special price:

1.    Go to the Registration Form: Registration Page 

2.    Fill in the registration form and select the webinar (you will see the regular prices but don’t worry you will get your discount!), in the field “How did you learn about the conference? *” fill in "BOLD Discount"

3.    Do not pay by clicking on the PAY PAL directly (then you will pay the regular price). You will receive a confirmation email from our office with the discounted price and you can pay either via PAY PAL or via a bank transfer.  The details for this will be provided in the email confirmation (this is created by a human, it is not an automatic mail, so won't be sent directly).


Let's Watch and Blog and Tweet (hashtag #birthhr) and Facebook this conference into history.

It's time to step up, support this KICK-BUTT conference, and make some noise about childbirth as a human rights issue!

Register now.

Off To See BIRTH in Spanish!

Tomorrow I'm heading off to New York City to see NACER, the Spanish version of BIRTH.

Waa-hoo!

BOLD Uruguay - a 15 cast and crew members in all (plus one BOLD baby born in water less than 2 months ago)-  has flown to the United States this month to push this baby out in Miami, New York City, Austin, and San Antonio.

I don't know Spanish.

Who cares.

They have already performed just about everywhere in Uruguay and are in the USA to make a statement to their government in Uruguay that laws need to change when it comes to giving birth. In fact, when they return to Uruguay they have been invited to perform in front of the Uruguayan Parliment to lobby for change!

I love BOLD women (and the men who support them too! :).

BOLD Uruguay performing in Montevideo, Uruguay

Here's what one person who saw them perform this week in Miami wrote me:

"you don't know me, but.... I know you!
This morning I had the huge pleasure of bringing "Nacer" to Aventura, Florida.
Just to let you know... It was pure emotions and love!! The group did an amazing work. They Brought us to tears and laughing and tears again.
Thank you for bringing "Birth" to the world!!"

You're welcome.

Or should I say: de nada. :)


Come join me at the Museum of Motherhood this Friday, May 25 in NYC. It all starts with Mexican dancing at 6.30pm! 

An Epiphany

This message on Facebook from the BOLD Organizer in Floyd, Virginia stopped me in my tracks today.

(major goose bumps).

Read on!

Dress rehearsals start tonight for Floyd/Roanoke. I wanted to share this very poignant story. The following is from our director, who is pregnant for the first time. It is her director's note for our program for this weekend's performances. Look what the play BIRTH has already done before we even put it on!

"When I was asked to direct “BIRTH”, a show about childbirth, I did not know what to expect. My idea of birth had always been a medicalized one. Living in the city most of my life I knew that when your contractions start you go to the hospital, they break your water, pump you full of drugs to speed the process up, give you an epidural. You wait until they tell you to push and you have a baby while numbed from the waist down. Done! Needless to say I had no idea what I was getting into. At 4 months pregnant I read “BIRTH” and was terrified. Not at the content of the play but at how little I really knew about a woman's body, my body, and ability to have a baby. I got scared. What had I gotten myself into? As I reread the stories and began researching the information within the pages of this script I came to a realization that all of my life I had been scared. Scared of having a baby and of the pain and of the horrible things it was going to do to my body. I was scared I wouldn't be as strong as my mother and the mothers before her and that I wouldn't be able to birth a baby. I couldn't do it. As rehearsals continued I really listened to the stories and I had an epiphany. My body is made to do this. My body really does rock. As a woman I have a super power. I can hold a life inside of me. I can make a person. Birth isn't going to destroy my body; it was going to make it even better. And yes it is going to hurt but what great accomplishment or success comes without pain? Ina May Gaskin says “your body is not a lemon” and I finally know what that means. My body is not a junked up car that needs to be fixed. My body is beautifully designed and if given joy, encouragement, maybe a little peace and quiet, can overcome any challenge. Karen Brody, the author of “BIRTH” mentioned in an interview that we need to put the mother at the center of chilbirth. I think this is a pretty important idea. As you watch our performance I hope you will see the strength each women, actress, character possesses. I also hope you'll find your own strength in the process. Enjoy the show! "

 

Director Maggie Hessinger in the control both during rehearsals for BIRTH in Floyd, VA

Own It, BOLD Sistahs

The moment I wrote the play BIRTH I understood that not every community was going to relate to every single birth story I included.

Janet Chawal, who produced the play in India during BOLD’s first year, got this immediately. I remember that email.

Sure, the specific stories of childbirth in India may be different than the play – healthcare systems vary and economics always play a role in how birth unfolds – but to her the play embodied the flat-out truth about how women in India who give birth are often coerced when they’re in labor and delivering.

But more literal thinkers didn’t always get my invitation to see the birth stories in the play as metaphors. 

They would email me saying that they could not find the exact birth story of the woman in their community.

This play won't work in our community.

Okay. I don't believe in forcing any “baby” out before its time.

But some communities were ready to push.

And push-like-a-lioness they did.

Case and point: BOLD Quebec.

About 18 months ago I was approached by the producers of BIRTH in Quebec (called NAISSANCE, a French version of the play). They had already pushed NAISSANCE out in 2010 to great reviews in Montreal and Quebec.

Didn’t matter. There was another baby to push.

A bigger baby.

So we Skyped.

With nervous gestures in their voices they asked me:

“Would it be possible to add the true birth story of a mother in Quebec? We want to add some local flavor.”

My body tingled.

I love FLAVOR.

Cue: Salsa dancer.

I love BOLDness.

Cue: Woman kick boxing on the steps of the Supreme Court.

Without a doubt, I was IN on this baby.

Last month, along with the premiere of my new VBAC story in the play, the BOLD Quebec cast premiered the local story of a Quebec woman’s birth journey.

The story kicked butt.

They got lots of press.

Even better, I didn’t write this new story. It was written by two local thespians, Annie Arsenault and Marjolaine Lemieux.

Cue: confetti.

It was birthed by a cast and production crew of many, led by Maude Poulin.

Cue: big mama hugs.

Own it, BOLD Sistahs.

Own IT.

Thank you BOLD Quebec... for TRICKLING UP the empowerment of pregnant mothers...one more step.

All it takes is one step to own changing anything you crave.

Are you BOLD enough to take that step? 

--

Photo: BOLD Quebec cast

What Brought Me To Tears

Today I got a little weepy.

I’ve been working my booty off this week getting the online FEAR to FREEDOM Birth Facilitator Training Program ready for new students.

I’m pulsating with excitement and energy to meet all the new birth visionaries about join our tribe.

Literally, my hands are shaking.

It’s great to feel so much passion, and not-so-great to be pushing my boundaries of what constitutes a normal work day.

I’m holding the tension of the opposites BIG time. (If you’re a FEAR to FREEDOM Birth Facilitator or were on my Boot Camp for Birth Visionaries call this week then you’ll get this statement :)

My to-do list is that long, never-ending spiral that means not everything is going to get done.

So today I decided I needed a break.

That’s when I remembered in all my busyness this week I had not looked at any of the recent evaluations from certified FEAR to FREEDOM Birth Facilitators.  So I started reading. And reading.  And by the end of the first few comments I was in tears.

No, I was bawling.

Here are just a few of the tear triggers:

“Being a Childbirth Educator and Doula I knew there was still a missing ingredient in the empowerment of Pregnant women and the FEAR to FREEDOM training was it!”
– Romy Rapopart

“The F2F tools are such amazing techniques that empower mothers to identify their needs and then take action towards making their ideal birth a reality. The big surprise was that along the way the tools helped to change my life as a birth worker as well!”
– Chloe Raum

“This training came at the perfect time; I left it feeling more energized and motivated to continue to work towards change. The tools are transforming. I hope to have more F2F facilitators in my area:) “ - Angela Miki

After 20 minutes of heart-tugging comments I wiped my tears and went back to work.

Changing the Culture of Birth takes work. But if there is one thing I know it’s that when I hear how my work impacts others it feels good; so good it warms my heart and brings me to tears.

On Monday I'll be answering questions about FEAR to FREEDOM's training to any of you on the fence about whether to take this life-and-birth changing adventure with us.

You can sign up here:  http://feartofreedombirthqanda.eventbrite.com/

Tearfully yours - 

Are You a Birth Visionary?

Ready to Rev-Up Your Inner Birth Vision-ista?

Register for my FREE "Boot Camp For Birth Visionaries" call this Monday, May 7th at 12 noon EST.

 http://bootcampforbirthvisionaries.eventbrite.com/

On this call you will learn:

• How to Be a Birth Worker And a Change Agent Without Feeling Like You're Preaching 

• The 4-Step Community Organizing Method And How To Use It To Transform Pregnant Mothers So They Own Their Birth Experience 

• One Thing You Absolutely Must Put On Your To-Do List If You Want To Change the Culture of Birth 

• The ONE Quick Empowerment Tool You Can Begin Using with Your Pregnant Moms Today!

Not sure you want to be a birth visionary? I shot an impromptu video last night with my thoughts on that. :)

It's time to kick some butt and change the culture of birth. 

 Let's do it as tribe. 

 I'll see you on the call, right?